"What Comes Around...": A True Story (Part 5)

[NOTE: This is a retelling of what is probably the worst thing anyone has ever done to me and how I ended up getting a small measure of revenge in the end. Everything in this story is true to the best of my recollection.]

The next day I called my project manager in Afghanistan and explained the situation to him and asked his advice on what I should do. He said not to worry, that I didn’t work for Barrett, I worked for LTC Fanning. I tried to explain that it didn’t matter because Barrett totally had Fanning like a puppet on a string and that he had managed to set it up so that if you worked for Fanning…you pretty much worked for Barrett. I did exactly what he told me to do, which was email Barrett and cc LTC Fanning. I was very cordial and did not let on that I knew about his master plan. I simply said something like “Tom, I noticed that you’ve sent some stuff to SFC Peterson and forgot to cc me on it. In the future, please be sure to cc me on all traffic as soon we’ll be planning redeployment and I need to be in the loop on everything”. Well, Barrett must have sensed what I was doing because he did not like it one bit. He blasted a reply on which he cc’d Fanning and several other people in the chain in which he angrily demanded to know everything that I had done so far during the deployment and that he wanted to see copies of all the products I had produced and what I was working on, etc. It was a genius move. He knew that isolating me in the rear would give me little chance to be involved and so demanding to know everything that I was working on would be like exposing to the world that I was just an overpaid contractor who wasn’t doing all the things I was hired to do. The irony was that he had schemed successfully from day one to put me in that position. I knew that if I pushed it, I would probably lose and probably have my position cut so I dropped the matter and never replied. In fact, Barrett and I had no further communication the rest of the deployment. I tried to get stuff through Fanning but Fanning sent everything through Barrett so I was screwed. Given what I had already learned, I was sure that Barrett had already convinced Fanning that I was worthless and not needed.

The months that followed were probably the most stressful of my life. I woke up every morning worried that that was the day my contract would be cut. I had a wife and small child at home and had no idea what I would do if that happened. It was a terrifying thought and it gripped me day and night. I started eating and drinking more and more out of stress and my weight rapidly ballooned to unforeseen proportions. I was constantly stressed and on edge and often took it out on the wife which made things worse. I had to sit each day and watch as someone who had pretended to be my friend systematically ruined my life and there was nothing I could do about it.

I did get a slight reprieve. A few months before the deployment ended, the contracting officer approached me and said he’d heard that an NCO was giving me trouble and trying to get me fired. He told me I had nothing to worry about, that they were happy with me and had no problems with my performance. I was a bit relieved but then in the same breath he also leveled with me and told me that the contract would almost certainly be cut when the unit redeployed. I said I understood and he asked me if I would be interested in staying as a Department of the Army civilian. I told him I definitely would be and he said he was trying to get my position converted to a DAC billet. Though I was happy about the new development, I was certain that as soon as Barrett found out about the DAC billet, he would do everything in his power to ensure that I would not get it.

In the end, I did not get selected for the DAC billet. In fact I ended up a distant third on the list for the very job that I had done for the past 6 years. Although I will probably never know exactly how much Barrett had to do with it, I did find out later on that he had filed and sent out several after action reviews in which he totally destroyed “the civilian” and went into great detail about how worthless “the civilian” was during the deployment and about how “the civilian” was a waste of money, etc. Losing out on my own job was an unbelievably humbling experience for me. For a long time afterward I questioned whether I was even in the right line of work. I was set to take another contract position in Hawaii for minuscule pay because it was the only offer I had when at the last minute a DAC position was offered to me working in Army Europe HQ in Heidelberg, Germany, the same place I had turned down the GS9 position a year and a half earlier. This position was a GS11 so I eagerly took it as it was in Europe and I could still come to Italy once or twice a year on vacation at least. As it turned out, the opportunity was a Godsend for me. While I had been passed over for my job in Italy, now I was working at a much higher level. It was like going from the minor leagues to the major leagues. And you know what? I excelled at it. I was learning new stuff, I was doing ten times the work I had done in Italy and I was making even more contacts in high places. That job went a long way towards restoring my confidence in my abilities. I kept in touch with Peterson and the individual who had ended up taking my position (we sort of knew each other already) and not surprisingly, they too ended up falling victim to Barrett’s schemes. The stories they told me about him sounded very similar to what I had lived through the previous year and a half. Eventually Barrett came down on orders for Ft Bragg but was able to finagle his way into an active guard slot somewhere in Iowa. He has since retired and is working as a GS9 the last I heard.

After 6 years in Italy, I had apparently made a name for myself. Everybody was quite surprised that I had not gotten the DAC position in Italy. One day, the LTC that I was working for at in Heidelberg was working late and it was just he and I so he asked me, what the hell happened in Italy that cost me the job? I told him I really didn’t know but I had my suspicions. I then told him the story about Barrett and what he had done to me and he said he has met NCO’s like that in his many years in the Army and they never surprise him. With the job in Italy, we were constantly doing business with Army Europe HQ in Heidelberg as they were our higher headquarters. A few of the guys who had worked with Barrett were quite shocked when I told them of Barrett’s actions as they all thought he was a smart, squared away NCO. That’s what always made things so hard to take – Barrett WAS extremely smart and he WAS a squared away NCO. Just made it harder to fathom how he could do something so underhanded and dirty.

I settled in and adjusted to my new position rather nicely. Although I missed Italy tremendously, I did enjoy working in Heidelberg. The guy who had taken my job in Italy ended up having so much trouble at it that after a year he requested to be released so he could go back to his old job in the US. I was hoping to get back down there but alas, the Colonel that I was working for at Army Europe HQ did not want me to leave and secretly convinced the new leadership in Italy not to fill the position (something I will never forgive him for). Looking back, I guess they were really happy with me and my performance which felt really good after the Barrett debacle. I even turned myself into somewhat of a go-to guy. After about a year and a half, my immediate supervisor left for a job in the US. I was asked by the leadership if I would be interested in the job and it was a GS12 position so I said yes. Unfortunately, the position ended up being posted as a temporary position so I didn’t even bother applying as my current position was permanent. A month or two later my big boss asked me to look over the list of people who had the referral list for the open position and see if I knew anyone. I scanned the list and there it was at the top of the second page: THOMAS BARRETT. It was like reliving the nightmare all over again. I went back to my boss, showed him the name and told him that if they ended up hiring this guy, I would quit on the spot. He asked why and I gave him a brief description of the history between us, after which he wholehearted agreed that this guy was not someone they wanted working there. The other hiring official was the LTC that I worked for so I asked to speak to him privately. I showed him the list and told him that “Thomas Barrett” was the NCO who I had told him about that night we were working late. He shook his head and said don’t worry, I was not the only person who he had heard negative things about Barrett from and there was no way they would hire him in light of this fact.

The funny thing is, out of a list of about 20 people, Barrett was far and away the most qualified candidate. Nobody else on there had anywhere near his experience and under normal circumstances, I would have recommended him in a heartbeat. In the end, someone else got the GS12 position and is, to this day, firmly ensconced in the position which is apparently about to become permanent. It could have been Barrett’s but for all of his scheming, manipulating and dirty tricks. In the end it probably won’t matter as I’m sure he’ll probably end up with a better job if he hasn’t already. But for that one brief moment, I got my little slice of revenge, even if it pales in comparison to what he did to me.

Sometimes you do indeed reap what you sow.

"What Comes Armound...": A True Story (Part 4)

[NOTE: This is a retelling of what is probably the worst thing anyone has ever done to me and how I ended up getting a small measure of revenge in the end. Everything in this story is true to the best of my recollection.]

The contract ended up taking a long time to get finalized and as a result I didn’t actually start the job until around December 1st. Sometime in late November as it was being finalized, I was introduced to the man who would be my new boss, LTC Ned Fanning (Not his real name). As it turned out, LTC Fanning was from Brockton, Mass. And was a huge Red Sox fan like me. The Red Sox had won the World Series for the first time in 86 years just a few weeks earlier so Red Sox fever was at an all time high and so we had an immediate bond. LTC Fanning had been brought in a month or so earlier to manage the deployment cell and my old section had been placed under him for the deployment. The problem was, he had no clue what my job entailed and he joked about it often – ‘Well, I know how to spell it now!”. He was always going 100 miles an hour and was so focused on other things that he didn’t want to have to take the time to worry about what we were doing, which was another reason why I was hired. However, as I quickly discovered, Barrett had become quite good at the job. He had taken advantage of my 2+ month absence by completely taking over everything and making it his own. I was not worried though, we were good friends, we worked together well before I had gotten out and I knew we would have no problem working together again under the new arrangement. He did seem different from the get-go though. He suddenly was a lot more serious and didn’t joke around as much. Whereas before it had always been a tradition to grab a mid morning or mid afternoon espresso, he suddenly claimed he was too busy to do so. It almost seemed as if he resented my presence there. I figured this was probably normal and didn’t worry about it too much but it was a bit difficult at times because I had been out of the loop for over 2 months and every time I asked him to bring me up to speed on where we were or let me take some of the workload I was rebuffed or thrown a bone that was supposed to pacify me. We did still maintain a good rapport though and it was obvious that he was just a little overworked and stressed about having to leave his family for another year deployment.

It also became obvious to me rather quickly that Barrett had turned himself into LTC Fanning’s right hand man. LTC Fanning loved him and gave him a lot of leeway to run “his” shop because he kept the heat off Fanning. The way the shop was to function was that Barrett and a Captain would spend the deployment at Ft. McPherson in Atlanta as the liaisons to the Central Command’s Army headquarters. Meanwhile I was to deploy to Afghanistan and run our shop from there. However, something very strange happened. A few weeks before we were supposed to leave, LTC Fanning informed me that had decided not to bring me to Afghanistan. This was strange because the reason why my position was created and why I was hired at all was to deploy with them. So if I was not deploying, there was a good chance my position would be cut and I would not have a job. I never got an explanation of why he suddenly changed his mind but it just seemed strange to me because only a few weeks earlier, his first words to me upon learning I had been hired were “Awesome, you’re deploying with us, right?”. By the grace of God, the contract officer decided not to cut my position. Instead I was to remain in the rear, in Vicenza, and support the unit however I could from there. This was not an ideal situation for me and I would spend the next year fearing that I could lose my job at any moment because there wouldn’t be enough to keep me busy.

Barrett (who had since been promoted to Master Sergeant) departed sometime in January for Atlanta and I was left running the show temporarily until everyone else left. He had lightened up considerably in the couple weeks before leaving and things seemed almost like the old times, joking on the phone and such after he got to Atlanta. I had told him straight out that I was worried about my job and constantly reminded him to keep me in the loop with everything. Since I was not deploying, he would be doing most of the work from Atlanta, so I told him I was counting on him to help me out by sending as much stuff my way as possible. He reassured me that he would do just that.

Shortly after Barrett and the rest of the unit had left, we received a new NCO, Sergeant First Class Jerome Peterson (Not his real name). Like most NCO’s who came into my shop, he was a signal NCO and had absolutely no experience with the job. So I set about my usual task of training him as I did with everyone else over the past 5 years or so. I liked him right away, he was a sports nut like me and loved a good discussion so we had plenty to talk about and we got along really well. He was also a very religious man and was one of the most honest people I’ve ever met. He was very easy to work with. Unfortunately there was not a lot for us to do in the rear.

Weeks and then months had gone by and I was not receiving anything from Barrett for some reason except for jokes and/or updates about mutual acquaintances. Every so often I would remind him that, for my job’s sake, I needed to be included in things as much as possible. He would say yeah, don’t worry, there just isn’t anything to send. Something didn’t seem quite right but he and I were such good friends that the thought that he might be purposely withholding stuff from me never entered my mind. Then one day, Peterson asked me to explain something to him. I looked at it and it was an email from Barrett discussing some aspect of the deployment. I thought it was kind of strange that Barrett had sent it to him and not me. Then he showed me his inbox and there were dozens and dozens of emails that Barrett had sent him or cc’d him on. It made no sense to me. Why would Barrett send that stuff to Peterson, who he had never met and who still didn’t know anything about the job and totally ignore me? I put it in the back of my mind because there really wasn’t much I could do about it. Besides, the deployment was about half over by that time and I still had a job so I was happy. Still nervous…but happy nonetheless.

A couple weeks later, at the end of the day, Peterson says good night and walks out the door, then reappeared a few minutes later. It was just he and I in there and he says he needs to talk to me. I said what’s up and he says “Look man, I really didn’t want to get involved in this and I wasn’t planning on saying anything but I can’t keep quiet anymore. This just isn’t right and I feel bad about this and I feel like I should at least warn you”. My reaction was something like “Huh?”. He then proceeded to inform me that Barrett had devised a grand scheme to get rid of me and was trying to enlist his help. He talked about how he never wanted me there as a civilian because he didn’t think they needed me and described in great detail his vision of the section after they redeployed – him and Peterson running things and no civilian. Apparently he had been working to try and get rid of me since the day they hired me. It became painfully obvious to me that Barrett was the one who had convinced Fanning not to deploy me, figuring they would cut my position on the spot (which they very nearly did). It was very hard for me to accept that someone who I thought was a good friend was actually scheming behind my back to get me fired. If we weren’t such good friends I probably might have seen it coming but I was just floored. It was literally like a punch in the stomach. I’d never felt so betrayed. I felt kind of like William Wallace when he ripped the helmet off the King’s guard and discovered it was Sir Robert the Bruce. I still had a hard time believing anyone was capable of such a thing but Peterson showed me emails from Barrett that backed up everything he said. It was true, every word of it.

It was instantly the worst thing anyone had ever done to me in my life and I had a hard time dealing with it. I started ruminating over everything Barrett had done since I’d known him. It all made sense now. He worked so feverishly to help me get out because he wanted control of the shop. He was pushing me to the job in Germany because he knew he could never be “the guy” as long as I was around. It was why he would not allow me into the building when I was on terminal leave, he had to keep me out of the loop as much as possible. It was why he had managed to get so much control over LTC Fanning before I came on board.

Barrett and I had had several conversations over the months about his future. He would go into great detail about how he was dropping his retirement paperwork after the deployment and how he was going back to Tennessee. He even told me several times that he had passed the state trooper test back home and was planning on becoming a state trooper. He described how he was sick of Europe and wanted to go back to the US. And yet, his plan all along was to get rid of me and take my job, plain and simple. And he never let on. If it weren’t for Peterson, I never would have known. I told Peterson he was a good man for at least warning me. He reiterated that he really didn’t want to get involved but, as he put it, “you’re a good man with a beautiful family and what he’s trying to do to you just ain't right”. I had no idea how I was going to handle the situation but I reassured Peterson that I would keep him out of it and that I would not tell Barrett that he has said anything to me.

'What Comes Around...": A True Story (Part 3)

[NOTE: This is a retelling of what is probably the worst thing anyone has ever done to me and how I ended up getting a small measure of revenge in the end. Everything in this story is true to the best of my recollection.]

On the job front, things were also progressing. I’d known a few other people around the European theater who did same job as me and who had also gotten out of the Army. Each of them walked into either a GS11 or GS12 position right away, so that was my benchmark. I felt that with my qualifications and skill level, I should at least be able to jump into a GS11 position right away. I spoke with a MAJ that I knew up in Heidelberg and he informed me that they had a GS9 position opening up very soon and that I should definitely apply. This did not please me. I told him that I thought I should be starting at least at the 11 level and he agreed but said the 9 was all he had. It was the most promising lead I had so even though I was hoping something better would come along I reluctantly applied for the GS9 position when it got posted. If nothing better came along, I would have taken it, as it was in Germany (still Europe!) and featured full living quarters allowance (housing and utilities) so it really wasn’t a bad starting point. Barrett assured me that it was a good move and continued to do everything he could to ensure I’d be getting out of the Army on time. Eventually I got selected for the GS9 position. I tried psyching myself up for the big career move but I just couldn’t get excited about it. I was so in love with Italy that I was extremely saddened at the thought of leaving. Oh how I wished I could find a job in Italy somewhere!

Suddenly one day, I started hearing whispers that Northrup Grumman was making progress on a possible contract with my unit to support them in various capacities during their impending deployment. And one of the “capacities” happened to be my job. I was elated to hear this and was hoping something would happen soon. I’d already accepted the GS9 position in Heidelberg but if I had a chance to stay in Italy, however small, I was taking it. It would be a lot more money than a GS9 position and best of all, it would allow me to remain in Italy, the country I loved so well.

You have to understand how much I loved it here. It was my home for over 4 years, I was learning the language and the X Man had been adopted by our neighbors, Giampietro and Agnese. He was already speaking Italian better than English! Italy was in my blood, it was my home. I didn’t want to live anywhere else. And so, even though I didn’t like doing it, I secretly did everything I could to draw out the in-processing with Heidelberg in hopes that the contract would be finished soon. I couldn’t take a chance at turning down the GS9 and then finding out that the contract was dead, then I’m out of the Army and jobless. I still needed the GS9 position as a fallback. While all this was going on, one day Barrett decided to give me some unsolicited advice. Out of the blue he tells me that I can do whatever I want but that the best thing for me would be to take the GS9 position in Heidelberg. The reasoning he gave was that I had gone as far as I was going to go in Vicenza and going to work at Army Europe HQ was the best thing for my career. I told him I didn’t care, I loved Italy too much to leave so it’s not even something I need to think about. And besides, the amount of money I would make as a contractor would be hard to turn down. He tried hard to dissuade me but I would not budge. The fact that he was pushing me hard to take the Germany job didn’t seem that odd to me at the time, after all, he seemed to be looking out for my best interest.

So here was my timeline: my official last day in the Army was 12 December. I had saved up two months of what is called “terminal leave” so my actual last day at work was on or about 14 October. You usually start clearing a few weeks out so pretty much by mid September I was gone. I was doing what was called a “European out” which means that I was getting out of the Army in Europe instead of the US. Barrett was masterful in making sure that all the necessary paperwork was in order and submitted in time. The contract was very nearly complete and I was excited. I pretty much knew that I would be hired as a contractor so I tried to ensure that I kept myself in the loop with the planning effort regarding the upcoming deployment. I didn’t want to miss a couple months and then come back and try to get caught up. I asked Barrett to please keep me apprised of any major developments so I could hit the ground running when the contract was finally done and he agreed. However, one day after I had finished clearing and had started my terminal leave, I stopped up to the office to say hello and see how the planning effort was going. Barrett met me at the door and informed me that I wasn’t allowed in the building. I was sure he was joking. He then explained that since I had cleared the unit and technically was not part of it at that moment, I was not cleared to enter the building. I still thought he was joking. Turns out, he was serious. I kind of laughed and said “C’mon Tom, everybody here knows me, you know I’m going to be working here as a contractor very soon so I need to stay involved” but he stood firm, saying it was “Army policy”. I thought he was being unnecessarily strict all of a sudden but I didn’t push it. I left and figured I’d just wait until the contract was finished.

Eventually the contract did get finished. I applied for my position and not surprisingly was selected since I’d done the job the past 4 years and was pretty much a shoe-in for it. It was one of the most exciting things that had ever happened to me and it was the dream of almost every low to mid level soldier in the Army; get out and get a high paying contract position doing the same thing you did as a soldier. My salary literally doubled over night. The position would require that I deploy to Afghanistan with the unit and that would mean anywhere from $25-50,000 on top of the normal pay. I was just floored. When I ran into Barrett, I excitedly told him of the offer I had received. In my mind, Barrett had played a huge part in my dream coming true and I really thought he would be excited for me but he didn’t seem to be. I figured he was probably just being his usual even-keeled self, that he was secretly happy for me deep down. I told him that I owed him a huge debt for all of his help over the past few months and invited him and his wife over for dinner to say thanks. After dinner, I presented him and his wife with a set of expensive wine glasses as a thank you gift. I remember making a little speech telling him that he was the best NCO I had in my entire time in the Army and that I could never repay him for everything he had done for me. I meant every word.

"What Comes Around..."; A True Story (Part 2)

[NOTE: This is a retelling of what is probably the worst thing anyone has ever done to me and how I ended up getting a small measure of revenge in the end. Everything in this story is true to the best of my recollection.]

It was early 2004 when I made the decision that I was getting out of the Army and there were two main factors that drove the decision. The first was the whole Air Force officer packet screw job that I just described. The second was my re-enlistment situation. I was fast approaching my ten year mark and apparently the rule in the Army is that when you re-enlist with 10 or more years in, it is an indefinite re-enlistment. What that means is that the Army basically owns you until you retire. You can request to get out before retirement but they do not have to let you. You can submit your retirement paperwork at 20 years but they don’t have to approve it. Needless to say, there was NO F’ING WAY I was going to allow the Army – or anybody else for that matter - to have that much control over my life. My current enlistment was slated to end on December 12th, 2004 which seemed like perfect timing to me. I basically had about 10 months to start getting my ducks in a row and start looking for civilian jobs. The X Man was only a few months old at this time so it did make me a little nervous but for the most part I enjoyed my lame duck status for most of 2004.

Not long after I decided that I was getting out we found out that my company would be deploying to Afghanistan sometime in early 2005. I debated long and hard about whether to stay in for another year and go with them but in the end I was just too burned out and couldn’t get past the thought of missing an entire year of the X Man’s life. Besides, I had already made decent progress in my job hunting and was worried that some of the opportunities I had would not still be available in another year and a half. Several people tried to scare me by telling me that I would be getting stop-lossed and would not be able to get out of the Army but some quick figuring put my ETS (end of time in service) date slightly outside of the stop loss window so I wasn’t too worried.

In the spring of 2004, I had to accompany my boss on a three week trip to the US to work on some details of the rotation to Afghanistan the following year. He apparently found my contributions of decent value and upon returning often inquired about my timeline in getting out and occasionally wondered out loud how he was going to get by without me (for the record, I always thought he’d have no problem). Several times he remarked that he would love to keep me there as a civilian if he could. Unfortunately there was still no civilian position here so he was out of luck. Around this time I had a friend up in Army Europe Headquarters in Heidelberg, Germany who was a contracting representative for Northrup Grumman, the second largest defense contractor in the US. They had several contracts at bases in Germany and were really interested in expanding to Italy if they could. I mentioned this to my boss and said if he really was interested, I knew guy who might be able to work with him in getting a civilian position created. Eventually he agreed and I put the guy in touch with him, then recused myself from the situation, hoping for the best but not really expecting anything.

Also in the spring of 2004, while all of this was going on, we received a new NCOIC in our shop. His name was Sergeant First Class Thomas Barrett (not his real name). Barrett was different than every other NCO that ever came to our shop in that he had a transportation MOS. Everyone else, including myself, had a signal MOS. This usually made it hard for people to learn the job because it’s a lot more closely related to transportation than signal. He had quite a background, having deployed to Iraq with the airborne brigade on base and working pretty much every aspect of the transportation and deployment world in both the US and Europe. I liked him right away as he was not like most of the NCO’s I’d worked with during my time there. He was friendly, jovial, liked to laugh and joke around and wasn’t a “hard ass”. I went through the normal routine of training him as I did with every new person that came into the shop and to my surprise he seemed to pick up the job a lot quicker than anyone else ever had since I’d been there. With his background, this was not surprising and I was pleased that there might finally be another person in the shop who could do the job, especially with me getting out of the Army at the end of the year.

Barrett and I hit it off on a personal level as well. We had a lot in common and he treated me like an equal, not someone who was two ranks below him and thus subservient to his every command. He had a rather sizable family – a wife and five kids – whom I met and they were all very nice. He was originally from Tennessee and he had that sort of good old boy charm about him. I noticed right away that he was a master at working the system. He seemed to know every Army regulation in the book and, when it suited his purpose, how to get around them. One time in the middle of a work day, he told us that we had a mission to attend to so we were closing up shop for the day. The mission? Meeting his family at the movie theater to watch the movie “Dodgeball”. Yes indeed, Thomas Barrett was my kind of NCO.

As the year progressed, I started doing all my paperwork to get out of the Army. As with anything else the Army does, there is a ton of paperwork and bureaucracy involved when you decide to separate from the service. I needed to ensure that everything was in order so they could not end up stop-loss’ing me on a technicality. Around the time I was beginning the process, Barrett took me aside for a chat. He asked me if getting out of the Army was what I really wanted to do and of course I said yes. He then told me that he was going to make it his mission to ensure that all my paperwork was in order and that I don’t get screwed. I was very impressed as I’d never had an NCO take such an interest in my well being; in most cases it was usually the exact opposite. And true to his word, he went above and beyond in assuring that I had no problems getting out of the Army. Whenever I hit a roadblock, he would navigate me through it. Whenever I had trouble dealing with one of our personnel clerks, he would have a “chat” with that person (or his supervisor) and things would get straightened out. I was quite surprised by the whole thing to be honest. I thought to myself “If I’d always had NCO’s like him, I might have made a career out of the Army!”.


To be continued...

"What Comes Around..."; A true story. (Part I)

[NOTE: This is a retelling of what is probably the worst thing anyone has ever done to me and how I ended up getting a small measure of revenge in the end. Everything in this story is true to the best of my recollection.]

I came to Italy from Germany in May 0f 2000. I ended up working on the division staff doing a job that was highly sophisticated and detail oriented. I loved it right away because jobs like that are few and far between in the Army. In Germany I worked on radios and spent a lot of time in a field environment which I’ve never really enjoyed so when I fell into a job where I would be working at a desk in an office behind a computer, I welcomed the change. But what I loved most was that the job was difficult, challenging, always changing and so you had to stay sharp to keep up. There was a lot to learn and I devoured it all. I took to it right away and became rather good at it. Most of the officers that I worked for didn’t really know exactly what my job was but they knew it was important enough that if they had someone who was good at it, they were extremely fortunate. And so I developed a good relationship with pretty much every officer I worked with and enjoyed a certain amount of autonomy. I never thought the job was so hard that the average person couldn’t learn it but for some reason, every single other soldier, officer and NCO alike, had trouble learning the job. Most never even got the slightest grasp on it at all and because of that, spent most of their time doing everything BUT what they were supposed to be doing. I didn’t mind as much because it made me, by default, the go-to guy. For all of my time doing the job as a soldier, I was quite literally the only person there who knew how to do it. Over the course of my time there I’d met and worked with civilians who did the same job as me and I always had it in the back of my mind that I would love to one day get out of the Army and do my job as a civilian. After all, it would mean better pay, still serving my country and yet not having to put up with most of the Army crap that I didn’t like. Unfortunately there were no civilian positions here in Italy doing my job so I continued to re-enlist to stay in Italy because I did not want to leave this beautiful country. There were several civilian positions in Heidelberg, Germany but…Germany is not Italy. And so I stayed.

In the summer of 2003, I was approached by an Air Force friend and told that they (the AF) were now accepting candidates from the Army for their officer training school. I had always wanted to join the Air Force and had often toyed with the idea of getting a commission and finishing my military career as an officer so I took the test and scored high enough to submit a packet. Several officers I worked with at the time were thrilled and wanted me to succeed so through them I was able to acquire not only a letter of recommendation from my Commanding General, but also an emphatic recommendation for admittance from an Air Force General Officer who was the 86th Wing commander at Ramstein AB. I was told by the Air Force recruiter who was supervising my packet that these two recommendations together meant that my acceptance was guaranteed as soon as my packet was submitted. Unfortunately, the Army was late supplying me with the last remaining document I needed and literally nine days before the packet was due, the Air Force filled their slots and closed the process for that year. The recruiter told me it was no problem, I just had to wait a year and submit the finished packet, that it was guaranteed, but for me the die was cast. My future as an Air Force officer was not to be. I was already 32 years old so waiting another year and then getting a commission at age 34 just was not an option for me. But by that time, I had really grown tired of much of the day to day Army bullshit that I had to put up with. I enjoyed my job tremendously but didn’t enjoy being subjected to the whims of idiot NCOs (and occasionally officers) who had way too much control over my life for my liking. I hated the fact that I couldn’t just come in, do PT, do my job and then go home. I’d always told myself that I’d stay in the Army as long as I enjoyed it or could at least tolerate it and after nearly seven years active duty, the time had come. And so my options became limited to one: get out of the Army and get a civilian job.


To be continued...

Give the people what they want

I find myself, once again...in a rut.

And so I ask you, my viewing public (such as you are), for your suggestions. What is it that you would like me to write about? Is there anything in particular that your loyal scribe can fill this space with that might tickle your e-fancy? If so, feel free to let me know. I will leave the suggestion box (aka the comment section) open for a few days to garner feedback after which time I will make the fateful decision on what I will write about for the immediate future. Hopefully this will lift me out of my literary rut.

So...what will it be? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

ACHTUNG! Taking a short break...

I'm headed up to Germany for the next few days on business so no blog updates til I get back this weekend...

Au Revoir Pepere.

Today I am mourning one of the greatest men I've ever known in my entire life; my Pepere. (For those not in the know, we French Canadians call our grandparents Memere and Pepere.) For as long as I can remember Pepere was someone whom I admired and loved tremendously. Growing up he was the kind of grandfather who used to love to play with us and joke around. Whenever we would go up to Claremont to visit Memere and Pepere we all used to fight over who got to sit next to Pepere at the dinner table because he was so much fun. His favorite trick was to steal our milk when we weren't looking and hide it under the table and it took us years to figure out just how he did it (there was a wooden board under the table he put it on).

As I grew and learned more about Pepere I just developed such admiration for him as a man and as a father. Seeing how much he sacrificed for my mother and the rest of his children has always amazed me and continues to be a standard I'll probably never be able to live up to. He truly was the personification of what we call "The Greatest Generation". He was the first generation in my family to be born in the US and he served his country in the US Navy during WWII (In fact he was on a ship off the coast of Iwo Jima as they raised the flag).

Through high school and college I took French classes and I relished every opportunity to sit with Pepere and practice with him. I left for Europe 10 years ago and haven't seen Pepere since then, except at my wedding in 2002. He was already going downhill by that time and it saddened me to see someone who I knew as so energetic and full of life have trouble with simple tasks. In the years since then his health has continued to deteriorate but the news my mother would send said his mind was as sharp as ever, even if his body was failing him. So his passing wasn't a surprise to any of us, it had been a long time coming.

Looking back, I guess I never really got a chance to tell Pepere how much I respected and admired him and I'll always regret that. They just don't make 'em like Pepere anymore. I can only hope to be one tenth the man that he was.

Au revoir Pepere, you were one of the greatest men I've ever known and I'll miss you.

Pepere and the X Man, 2005

Couple pictures of the house

The X Man's first day of school is a success.

Well, it turns out that I was nervous for nothing. We brought the X Man to school this morning and he loved it right away. Normally when a kid is new at school here they only go for about a half day for the first 2 or 3 days so they can adapt easier and not get overwhelmed, so I was supposed to pick him up at 11:30. I went to the school at 11:30 and he immediately informed me that he wanted to stay with his new friends because he was having so much fun so I left him for the whole day. I watched him for a little bit and I can't remember ever seeing him happier, he was just loving everything. My heart just swelled up with joy seeing him enjoy his first day of school so much.

We took a few pictures from this morning, you should be able to view them here:

The X Man's first day of school

He can't wait to go back tomorrow!

The X Man starts school on Wednesday.

Checked out the school yesterday and everything seems good so the X Man is scheduled to start at the Scuola Materna on Wednesday, January 7th. I have to admit that I am a bit nervous and worried about him because his Italian has not returned to him as quickly as I'd hoped since we've been back. But, like everyone keeps telling me, he is young and after a couple weeks of being immersed in it, he'll pick it up very quickly. I guess what worries me most is that he's always a bit shy and intimidated around other kids when he doesn't speak their language. That's the main reason why he never made any friends in Germany - he spent a lot of time at the playground but would always avoid the other kids because they were speaking German.

Anyway, I'm probably worrying for nothing. He needs to be in school and around kids his own age very badly and I'm sure that a few weeks from now he'll be fine. There are several kids in our neighborhood his age and they all go to the Scuola Materna so I'm he'll have plenty of friends his own age soon enough. Giampi is being a tremendous help to us so far as you would imagine. In a way, he seems more excited about it than anyone. The toughest part may be for the wife - she usually goes to bed after midnight and wakes up around late morning so having to wake up early to get the X Man to school by 0830 might end up killing her. Ah, the joys of being a parent...

Winter has come to Vicenza

Took these the other day from the upstairs balcony. In my previous six years here, I think it snowed three or four times and it was usually gone within a day. In my first month here this time it has already snowed three times and this time the snow has been here almost a week. So much for global warming. I absolutely hate winter, snow and cold weather but I have to admit, the view of the Alps is quite breathtaking this time of year...

I'm in a bad way.

I'm going through possibly the worst "bad health" stretch of my life right now. In fact I have not been more than 75% for about 3 months now. I finally dragged my goat-smelling ass to the clinic yesterday and found out that I have some kind of upper respiratory virus/infection. I'm currently on my second day of antibiotics as well as some kind of medicinal inhaler and I am praying that they work their magic and quick because I just cannot take this much longer. I'm starting to forget what it feels like to be healthy and have energy enough to do more than lay on the couch with a blanket over me. As you can imagine, it has not made the big move down here very easy, particularly the unpacking and such.

Buon Natale!

Luca is learning how to stand

Luca is now about 7 months old and learning things at such a rapid rate that I fear he might be walking by next week. I'm kidding of course but consider this; he learned how to crawl in about one day a few weeks ago and since then he has been trying desperately to stand up. He often goes from a crawl position to balancing on his hands and feet with his butt straight up in the air but gets stuck there. And then yesterday, Virginia had to do some housework so she put him in his little bouncer thing. When she came back into the room a few minutes later, he had not only worked his way out of the bouncer but this is what she saw:



Luca might be a superbaby.

We're moved in.

But still living out of boxes somewhat. Blog posts will commence once we get a little more settled...

Moving day...finally!

We finally move into our house today. We got a phone line turned on yesterday so we might be online sometime today if I have time to set it up...

Sign of the times.

This past weekend we were at the PX on base to do some last minute birthday shopping for the X Man. The wife kept him distracted, I grabbed the stuff and took it out to the car. As I walked back in across the parking lot, I could not believe what I witnessed - there was a really large woman, probably in her late 30's, driving a huge SUV and due to both the size of the vehicle and the amount of room it took up...combined with her enormous girth, she could not get into her vehicle. She had to ask some random woman who was walking by if she would back her truck out of the parking space for her so she could get in. The woman gave her a strange, hesitant look but obliged and obviously didn't know how to drive a stick because she stutter-stopped the vehicle out a few inches at a time and at one point actually almost hit another car. Kind of made me wonder...if she had hit another car, how would that have gone down with the insurance company?

Probably not a big deal to some people, I just found it a bit strange, never having witnessed anything like that before. If you're so big that you have to ask strangers to back your car out of parking spaces because you can't fit then maybe it's time to drop a few pounds. I'm just sayin.

The X Man is 5 years old today

Seems like only yesterday we were welcoming you into this world and now you're growing up so fast...happy birthday buddy!

"The Mother of all Pizzas"

You may have heard me rave about the ristorante/pizzeria in our hotel. Every meal has been great, ranging from fantastic to otherworldly. The place is family run but mostly by the two sons, Luca and Dario. On the menu, there is a pizza called "Pizza Luca" that has intrigued us since our first meal there. It has: Cheese, tomato, proscuitto, mushrooms, hot salami, asparagus, peppers, artichokes, wurstel, tuna fish and anchovies. Now my theory on Italian pizza is, simple is better. I prefer no more than one or two toppings; any more just fills you up too much and gives you heartburn, plus too many different flavors ruins the taste. I normally opt for pizza with olives, pizza with spinach and ricotta cheese, or pizza with proscuitto e funghi (ham and mushrooms). But every time we eat there, the X Man tries to goad me into trying the Pizza Luca since he is convinced that it is named after his little brother. I always tell him there is no way I am attempting to tackle that monstrosity. However, last night I was feeling froggy so I decided to go for it, if only to see the beast in real life. In the interest of full disclosure, I asked for no anchovies (yech!). The X Man ate a small slice and I ate the rest and we barely finished half of the thing.

To see all of the pics, CLICK HERE!

A few pics of the house

Virginia put them on her Facebook page...someone let me know if the link does not work...

Pictures of the house

House inspection today

We have our house inspection this afternoon...I'll try to get some decent photos to post on here in the next day or two...

10 random facts you probably didn't know about me.

1. I grew up in New Hampshire but have never downhill skied in my life.

2. My favorite color is blue.

3. I've never eaten at a Wendy's.

4. I once stole a t-shirt at the mall in college but I felt so guilty that I went back a few months later and paid the owner for it.

5. I think sandwiches are the perfect food.

6. I'm secretly addicted to my son's online Spongebob Squarepants game.

7. I've never broken any bones.

8. I once burned an entire forest down when I was a kid.

9. I peaked in 2001.

10. I've never eaten the worm.

Update

So here we are, back in Italy. You cannot possibly imagine how good it feels to be back here. The only way I can describe it is to say that it feels like we have come back home. I've run into several people who still remember us and all have been very welcoming. It's not a very big community here which makes it easier to get to know a lot of people and develop friendships. As I've already posted earlier, we were lucky enough to find a beautiful house in the absolute perfect location back in our old town of Caldogno. Everybody (myself included) was quite surprised that we found a place so quickly. Unfortunately we won't be moving in until around the 19th of December, which means we'll be in this hotel for another 2 weeks. I'm not happy about that as I hate living in hotels but all things considered it could be a lot worse. I think it took us almost two months to find a place in Germany when we went there.

We do have an address and I have a cell phone number so if anyone needs it, send me an email and I'll pass it along.

All in all, we're very happy to be back. The X Man is pretty excited and is trying to speak Italian, God bless his little heart. He can't wait to start school and we can't wait to send him. I'm also excited at the fact that Luca will grow up with Giampi and Agnese, just as the X Man did. But for right now, we're all extremely anxious to move into our new house. The next two weeks are going to drag by very slowly I'm sure...

Update coming soon...

I'll post an update of what's going on here soon but in the meantime, here's a picture of me and the X Man from Thanksgiving dinner at - where else? - Giampi and Agnese's house...

We found a house. And it's beautiful.

Things just keep getting better and better for us. When we knew we were coming back to Italy, there was of course only one place we would consider living: Caldogno. Caldogno is where I lived my entire six years here before. We have several friends here, including our old neighbors, Giampietro and Agnese who pretty much adopted us when we lived here before and are surrogate grandparents to our two kids. As I mentioned before, Giampi is adamant about walking the X Man to school every day once he starts. For all these reasons, we were determined to find a place in Caldogno. We had a long list of things we were looking for however and I anticipated that it would take at least a month or two to find something that fit the bill. I was also prepared to accept the fact that we probably wouldn't find a place that matched our list 100% so we'd have to sacrifice a few of them. Turns out I was wrong on both accounts.

We'd gotten word that a high ranking officer living one street over from where we used to live was leaving soon and his place would be coming open. When I mentioned it to Giampi the other night, he not only knew exactly which place I was talking about but he also happens to know the couple who owns the place really well. He called them immediately and it turns out the people had moved out the day before so he set up a meeting for us to look at it. I didn't get my hopes up because the two places we looked at prior were disappointing. But both the wife and I - and even the X Man - were blown away when we saw it. It has everything on our list and more. Three bedrooms, as well as a couple other rooms that we could use as bedrooms. Big front yard that I can use for my kettlebell workouts as well as play soccer or catch with the X Man (something we didn't have in Germany). Huge two car garage. Big garden for the wife as well as rose bushes and other flowers around the yard. Huge, furnished kitchen as well as a big porch/terrace right off the kitchen. No less than three balconies; one in the living room, one in the master bedroom and one in the guest bedroom. Downstairs, there is a finished basement with a huge rec room and a separate room we'll use as a gym/hobby room. There is also a big brick fireplace/stove in the basement that is perfect for barbeques. When Giampi saw it, he went ga-ga; he said they are coming over the first chance they get and we're going to cook some big steaks on it. And one of my favorite features: built-in air conditioning in almost every room! I had anticipated looking at a few other places before we made a decision but the place was so perfect that we took it immediately. Fortunately the owners liked us - I'm sure that Giampi being there and me conversing with them in Italian didn't hurt. Perhaps the best part is the location, about a two minute walk to Giampi and Agnese's house. Giampi says that as soon as we move in, the X Man will sleep over their place a lot so they can get his Italian up to speed quickly and he can start school. We're very excited. For those of you who saw our house in Germany, I honestly think this place is nicer - the only difference is that it's not in the middle of the Heidelberg Altstadt (sorry Eric), an admitted disadvantage. I may not live in the shadow of a castle anymore but we've got more room, a yard for the kids, a garden for the wife, and neighbors one street over who are practically family.

I'll post pictures after we move in and get settled, which should hopefully be in about a week or two. And rest assured, if you're one of our friends or family, we'll have plenty of room whenever you want to come visit!

A chance meeting with a legend, 15 years in the making.

I first became familiar with Roberto Baggio way back in 1994. The World Cup was coming to the US for the first time ever and, as I am a soccer junkie, I devoured every little piece of information on all the teams and players that I could get my hands on. Now, you have to remember that this was the early 90's and there was no internet or satellite TV. Information on international soccer was hard to come by back then. I read about this guy named Baggio who was recently name FIFA world player of the year. He seemed interesting; he was a Buddhist who wore his hair in a little braided ponytail, earning him the nickname "Il Divin Codino" ("The Divine Ponytail"). I watched every single match that I could in that tournament and I even was able to get tickets to three matches played in Boston (actually Foxboro). The highlight was when my friend Dave and I scored tickets to the quarterfinal between Italy and Spain. I wore my AC Milan shirt and Dave wore his Inter Milan shirt which caused a lot of stares and rebukes from Italian fans (probably a good thing I didn't speak any Italian back then). Italy went ahead through the "other" Baggio on the team - Dino Baggio - and soon after Spain equalized. Just when it seemed we were headed for extra time, Beppe Signori took a ball at midfield and fed a streaking Baggio (Roberto this time). Baggio calmly collected the ball, dribbled right past the keeper and scored the winning goal from an almost impossible angle with about three minutes left in the match. We were going crazy, it was pandemonium. I then watched as Baggio almost single-handedly brought home the World Cup for Italy. He scored an incredible 5 goals in the knockout stages, including two against Nigeria in the first round - one to send the game into extra time and another one to win it in extra time. Then the heroics against Spain. Then another two in the semifinal against Bulgaria to send Italy through to the final. Alas, Baggio was hurt in the final and could not continue the magic. Sadly, the defining moment of his career was when he missed the penalty that handed the World Cup to Brazil (although, even if he had made it, Brazil still would have won if they'd converted theirs). For me, it didn't matter; I was a Baggio fan for life.

Baggio had actually made his name at World Cup 1990, four years earlier, but I was in Basic Training with the Army that summer and missed everything. He had scored a goal against Czechoslovakia that was not only voted the best of the tournament but was also later voted the second best World Cup goal of all time.

I followed his career as much as I could back then but without internet or satellite TV, it was difficult at best. I mostly had to settle for write-ups in World Soccer magazine. In 1998 I enlisted in the Army full time and came to Germany and watched Baggio almost lead Italy past eventual champion France, losing in the quarterfinal to them. Two years later I asked for, and received a transfer to Italy, to the city of Vicenza. I ended up taking a little two bedroom apartment in a small bedroom suburb of Vicenza called Caldogno. Looking back, I can only guess it was fate that had brought me to Caldogno. The 2000 European Championships were only a few days away and so I walked down to the sports bar (conveniently called "Bar dello Sport") to inquire if they would be showing the matches. Indeed they would. When the first match came on, I made my way down and took a seat and as I looked at the walls, a familiar face stared back at me; the entire bar was adorned with posters, pictures, photos, newspaper clippings, memorabilia...everything of Roberto Baggio. I figured he must be a bigger star in Italy than I thought but imagine my tremendous shock when they told me that Baggio was actually from Caldogno! I was floored - my favorite soccer player of all time was from the little town that I had just landed in. It was unfathomable. I excitedly told them - or least tried to tell them as I spoke more French than Italian back then - of my love for Baggio the player and how I was actually at the match back in 1994 and they were instantly impressed. They could not believe that an American not only knew so much about soccer but that I had long been a fan of their beloved native son and had even seen him live in a World Cup match. Caldogno is a very small town and everybody knows each other so it came as no surprise that everybody in town had known Baggio since...well, pretty much since birth. He wasn't still living in Caldogno but the rest of his family was and he still spent quite a bit of time there so naturally my thoughts went straight to when I would be able to meet him in person.

And it very nearly happened very quickly.

By the end of Euro 2000, I had become a regular at the sports bar and the owner, Daniele had started to sort of adopt me as a local due to my love of calcio (soccer is called "calcio" in Italy) and the fact that I was spending money regularly in his bar. Towards the end of the summer, Daniele's eldest daughter Elisa told me that the bar was hosting a special dinner for Baggio. It was only for family and close friends and was invite only, but she asked if I would like to come meet Roberto. Well, you could have knocked me over with a feather. I was in heaven. I graciously accepted and the next three days dragged by. Then disaster struck. I received an sms from Elisa telling me to come to the bar. I arrived and she apologized as she pointed to the TV - it seemed Baggio had signed with Serie A club Brescia that day and they had to cancel the dinner as he had to go do the press conference and media crap. I was devastated. I had missed my chance. The only thing that consoled me was the fact that I would be in Caldogno for at least the next year and a half so there should be plenty of chances to meet him.

But as I've said so many times before...it was not to be.

I ended up staying in Caldogno for six years altogether and never once was lucky enough to meet him. There were plenty of near misses in those six year. I saw him driving his BMW X6 through town two or three times. A few times I arrived at one of the bars or cafes in Caldogno only to be told that Baggio had been there earlier to say hi or have a drink and that I had missed him. Through friends in Caldogno I had been able to receive his autograph on a few items - my favorite of which is my 1994 Italy World Cup jersey with Baggio's number (#10 of course) on the back. But I never got to meet the man in person. In 2004, we were driving back from the European Championships in Portugal. We stopped for dinner at a little bar in a town about three hours south of Vicenza called Voghera. As I chatted with the locals during the match I gave them my usual routine - I lived in a small town outside of Vicenza called Caldogno and asked if they'd heard of it. They said of course, it's the hometown of Roberto Baggio, but they seemed unimpressed. One guy then proceeded to tell me that Baggio spends a lot of time in Vorghera bird hunting (He's an avid hunter, something I always found funny, him being a Buddhist and all). In fact, they said, he was just there a day or two ago. Can you believe that? We stop at a random little town in Italy and just happen to just miss Baggio...again. It seemed that the fates that had brought me to live in Baggio's hometown were also conspiring to keep me from actually meeting him.

And there's more.

One Sunday afternoon when the X Man was about a year and a half old, the wife said she's taking him for a walk and asked if I want to go. I was half asleep on the couch so I said no. I awoke a couple hours later to her excitedly telling me that she had seen Baggio. Baggio's parent lived pretty close to us and as she walked past their house, sure enough, Baggio was in the driveway talking with his father. He saw the X Man and gave a little smile and wave. Had I gone with them, I would have met Baggio. I kicked myself. When we found out that we were having a boy, my first thought was that I wanted to name him Baggio. Of course the wife hated it so it never came to pass. I brought it up again with our second boy but it was shot down again just as quickly.

When we left Italy in 2006, I was rather dismayed at the fact that I had spent six years Baggio's hometown and had never once met him. The fates had indeed been cruel to me...and there was still more cruelty to come. Upon visiting our neighbors, Giampietro and Agnese for the first time since leaving, they informed me that the person who had moved into our apartment after we left was named Anna Baggio. That's right...Roberto Baggio's sister. My first thought was that if I could meet her and tell her what a huge fan of her brother I was, perhaps she could arrange a meeting. Eventually I did run into her and told her that I was a huge fan and such but no dice. Giampi and Agnese informed me that apparently Roberto and Anna were not on good terms and never spoke to each other. Once again, the fates had gotten my hopes up, only to bring me crashing back down.

Only this time, the story has a happy ending.

After two and a half long years in Germany, I recently got my old job here in Italy back. We arrived here last Sunday and the only place we considered living is of course Caldogno. Our friends and neighbors are there and Giampi is adamant about walking the X Man to school every day. Yesterday was Thanksgiving and a few days ago I remarked to the wife that, since we are still in the hotel, this was the first year in my life that I would not be enjoying a big Thanksgiving dinner as none of my American friends here had invited us. She said "why don't we do it at Giampi and Agnese's, I can cook Thanksgiving dinner there?" It was a great idea and thankfully Giampi and Agnese had no plans and agreed. So went over around noon as Agnese was preparing lunch. The usual routine is that Giampietro goes out to get the pane (bread) and always takes the X Man with him so he can show him off around town. Never once had I ever gone with them but for some reason I told Giampi that I wanted to go as well. We got the bread, then took a slight detour to Giampi's brother Lino's house to say hi. We rang the bell but there was no answer so after a few minutes we started to walk home. As we did, Giampi leaned in and whispered "That's Baggio's papa" in my ear as he nodded towards the two men across the street in grubby workmen's clothes unloading stuff out of a truck and into the empty garage. I stared intently, trying to size up the man who had blessed the world with the brilliance of Roberto Baggio. As I did so, Giampi exclaimed "Oh, that's Roby!". Sure enough, the other guy working with him in grubby clothes, doing manual labor with his father was none other than Roberto Baggio himself. Il Divin Codino.

I froze. Giampi started crossing the street towards them and I followed. He greeted them warmly (remember, everybody in Caldogno knows each other) and Roberto said he'd be out in a second, he just had to finish putting the load in the garage. He came out and exchanged pleasantries with Giampi. And then...finally...15 years after first hearing the name Baggio...8 years after moving to his hometown...2 and a half years after leaving his hometown without ever meeting him...I was face to face with Roberto Baggio. He extended his hand to me, and I shook it. Never have I ever been so glad that I can communicate in Italian as I told him how big a fan I am, how I was at the World Cup match in 1994, how I lived in Caldogno so many years but never got to meet him. It was a short meeting as Baggio and his father obviously had a lot of work to do but after so many years and so many near misses, it was a thrill I will never forget.

And if we ever have another kid...

Happy to be back in Italy.

This is the seafood meal I alluded to in my last post: Spaghetti alla scoglio (spaghetti with clams, mussels, prawns and shrimp)...

Italia: A Sort of Homecoming

Well, we are finally back in Italy albeit it not without incident. As you all know, our usual routine when coming to Italy is to leave on Saturday, stay overnight at a small town in the Austrian Alps called Heiterwang, then conclude the journey the next morning, traveling through the Fern Pass en route to the Brenner Pass It splits up the driving for the kids, as making the drive all in one day would be too much for them.

So, we left Saturday right at noon and headed south. As we got further south on autobahn 7 towards the Alps, it started snowing harder and harder. By the time we hit Fussen, right on the border, it was reaching blizzard proportions. The Fernpass can be treacherous even in decent weather so there was no way I would even attempt it in a blizzard, especially with a baby in the car. I was starting to think that I should have opted for the Munich route; it takes longer but it's autobahn the whole way. To my chagrin, the normal road between Fussen and Heiterwang was closed so we had to take a detour. Not a problem normally but a huge problem in a blizzard because the detour was on a smaller road. We finally reached Heiterwang and I started to breathe easy as we could now check into our hotel and relax...but it was not to be. The Heiterwang Hof was inexplicably closed, as was our fallback, the Forellen Hof. I was right on the edge of the Fern Pass and suddenly feeling very nervous. Just then, as if on cue, Luca started crying. I drove on, planning on checking into the first hotel we came to but there were none. Panic was starting to set in - it was dark now, the roads were practically undriveable, there was no hotel in sight and I had a 5 year old, a crying 6 month old and my prized wine collection in the car. One little slip and I might lose everything. The choice was clear; there was no way I was going to make it any further so I did a nerve-racking three point turn in the mountain road and headed back. We drove all the way back into Germany and searched several little towns for a hotel but everything was either closed or had no room. We finally did find a hotel about an hour north of the Fern Pass with room and checked in, my nerves still shaking from our near disaster.

I was now faced with the daunting prospect of having to backtrack all the way to autobahn 8 and take the Munich route the next day, which would take about an extra 3 hours. I woke early in the morning and went out to clean the snow off the car. This simple task took about 30 minutes and was made more difficult by the fact that I had no snow brush or ice scraper, no gloves, and nothing but a pair of dress shoes. If I ever hated the cold and snow - and I always have, with a passion - then I really was not liking it now. I asked the guy at the desk if there was any chance that the Fern Pass would be passable that morning, he checked on it and said it should be but that we should have breakfast first, relax, and give them time to clear the roads. I did NOT want to do the Munich thing so I did as he suggested. And sure enough, the Austrians had the road through the Fern Pass cleared and passable. When I reached the point at which I finally turned around the night before, I got a slight chill - there was no guard rail and the drop was at least a couple hundred feet. Thank the Lord Jesus that I turned around when I did as who knows what might have happened.

We arrived in Vicenza somewhere around 2 in the afternoon and as we did so I looked the temperature gauge in the car; 50 degrees F. I told the wife "Thank God we're in Italy and I won't have to deal with the damned snow anymore". We checked into the hotel and had one of the very best (and cheapest) seafood dinners I have enjoyed in quite some time. Then the X Man and I went to the hotel bar to watch the Milan match. Things were finally as they should be. I honestly could not remember the last time I had felt so content and I made mention of this fact several times during the course of the evening. Finally I went to bed, ready to wake the next day and start in-processing.

I awoke this morning, took a shower, got dressed, looked outside the window and was greeted by...wait for it...a blizzard.

That's right - a freaking blizzard, reminiscent of the one we had survived in the Alps. I weaved my way onto to post only to find that they had closed it due to the weather so I got a couple DVDs and am now holed up in our hotel room for the day, held hostage once again by the snow.

I wonder if there are any job openings in Hawaii?

We'll be right back...

Movers come today and internet will be turned off shortly so there will probably be no blog posts for the next week or two during the transition. In the meantime, I invite you to sit back, relax, and let your worries and cares melt away as you enjoy the most relaxing piece of music ever written...

Italy Move Update

Well, we're getting close now. This is our last weekend in our house and it's really starting to hit me that we're leaving very soon. In fact, I'm starting to get that twinge of sadness as I walk around Heidelberg now at the thought of leaving this beautiful fairytale of a city. We have certainly lived a charmed life here over the past two and a half years and we've savored every minute. If it were anywhere else but my beloved Italia, there is no way we would ever leave this place. But alas, Bella Italia beckons and I must heed her call.

So the movers come on Monday to start packing our stuff. They say it will take three days but I'm hoping they can do it in two due to our compacted schedule. Our house inspection is Thursday morning, then assuming that goes well I should finish clearing housing and everything else on Friday and we are planning on departing Saturday morning the 22nd. As usual we will stay overnight at our favorite little inn in the Austrian Alps and then arrive in Italy on Sunday the 23rd in time to start my new (old) job on Monday the 24th. We will be checking into the hotel at the Dubliner (where else?!) this Tuesday so I probably won't be online next week.

My last day at work was yesterday so the end of an era has passed. We had my goodbye luncheon on Thursday and I received a nice plaque, which is customary when someone leaves. And, to my great astonishment, I was awarded a $1,000.00 bonus for what the chain of command deemed my "above and beyond" performance. I was quite shocked to say the least but the bonus will certainly come in handy with moving costs and whatnot.

The X Man is getting excited but he seems a bit curious and cautious about the move. He knows he will be starting school when we get to Italy but he is worried because he can't speak Italian. But we keep reassuring him that he will learn it quick and I'm already practicing with him. He still remembers a lot and occasionally he will utter a word or phrase in Italian so I know he's trying. I'm not too worried about it though because Giampi and Agnese say they will have him fluent in about two weeks and I believe them as he was more fluent in Italian than English when we left two and a half years ago. His main concern is his toys of course. He needs constant reassurance that all of his toys will go with us to Italy.

As I mentioned, we'll be checking into the hotel at the Dubliner this Tuesday but there are a few places around town that have free wireless so I might be online here and there next week. If not, then the next update will be from Italy...with a bicchieri di vino!

The Moc Quote Board, Part 2

“Do you think we can get G2 to provide updates on Anna Nicole Smith during the brief?”

“He's bent over MSG Winslow’s desk…”

“It’s not so much the knob that’s missing, it’s the shaft.”

“Can I have a long one this time?”

“Don’t worry Sir, I’m already spanking myself”

“You can take your stick and jam it in there hard…”

“I’m doing the band right now”

“And trust me, he’s a master-baiter”

“Hey what’s in those sensitive items containers, sensitive items, right?”

“She'd better be nice to ME… or I’ll break her off something proper…”

“It’s really good…it’s got big nuts.”

“You pack fudge…you pound sand.”

“Why do I have the sudden urge to sing ‘Ebony and Ivory’?”

“Jimmy’s a furniture mover…moving his chest into his drawers”

“One of these days, your ass is mine buddy…”

“I’m telling you, if I ever go gay, I’m gonna open a bar and call it the ‘Fisty Goat’”

“I know, that’s why we’re going to embarrass him in a public forum!”

“Casio makes a good CD player…for 13 year old girls…”

“Jack, Jack, he’s our man, if he can’t do it, f**k it.”

Person A: “See, we took the brain trust from 21st TSC and brought it here…”
Person B: “Yeah and the IQ in both places went down!”

“Is your CAC in there?”

“Don’t touch my Monster…”

Person A: “They got this underground bar that goes on for miles, it’s awesome…”
Person B: “No Jack, that’s the subway.”

“I’m going to make Yarbro cry if he ever puts his hands on my Monster again.”

“He's probably the only person who has to take leave to get a haircut…”

“Hey Otto, show CPT Schonauer your peanuts!”

“Otto, did you stick it in yet?!”

“She got the biggest one”

Person A: “It’s the toughest stage of the Tour de France…”
Person B: “What, the drug-free stage?”

Person A: “Remember, you can’t spell “Reggae” without ‘Gay’”
Person B: “Or ‘Ray’…”

“It’s national ‘Love Your Pole’ day!”

“He’s the little Undercover Brother!”

“Hey Mr. Perez…I got your pants…and I got the peanut butter”

“It’s a special relationship until they decide to pull out”

“I got the head at home”

“No, I told her I was gonna do her”

“Well, you know you gotta stay on top of him.”

“What, you guys don’t wash your meat?”

“The thing I hate the most about Texas is Ft. Lauderdale.”

“I let the dude do me”

“Everyday for the last month, Otto’s had a foot long…”

“They’ve been massaging that unit for almost two weeks now”

Person A: “I want to see you put that whole thing in your mouth”
Person B: “I wish”

Person A: “Can you drink a gallon of protein in an hour?”
Person B: “Can you provide a gallon of protein in an hour?”

The MOC Quote Board, Part I

I have but 3 working days left at my current job. In honor of this occasion I have decided to share the MOC Quote Board with the rest of the world. The MQB started back in May of 2006 during my first week in the MOC (Movement Ops Center); I noticed that a lot of funny things were being said around me so I decided to capture them for posterity. What makes the MQB so funny is that these are actual quotes that have been uttered in my office and they are recorded sans context. It's pretty extensive so I'll have to break it up over a couple parts and I'll leave off the names to protect the (not-so) innocent. Without further ado, I present...The MOC Quote Board:

“It only comes when I hold it”

“I had Mandy’s for dinner last night”

“Every time they take them to the hole they’re naked”

“He needs a little more meat”

“Is Jack off today?”

“I’m gonna need Josh’s stick”

“Don’t let ‘em fool you with that ‘it’s the motion of the ocean’ crap…”

“It felt like you poked me”

“You put pork in your mouth!”

“Damn, I wish you were my mother…”

“Can I get a happy ending?”

“Follow me and I’ll give it to you now.”

“Size does matter”

“It’ll take a lot of rubbing and a long time”

“I can do it good if I can do it loud”

“Maybe we can do some pottery shopping, that’ll be nice!”

“What a gay conversation between two men”

“Here, take this, it’s still hard”

“Definitely goggles and socks if I walk out with nothing else”

“Don’t you EVER touch my balls again!”

“He coulda been light-bright, damn-near-white”

“You can either get the long one or the fat one”

“Send me the Dick in the box!”

“I had to stop cause he was going down on me”

“I need one with small holes, I don’t like the big holes”

“It’s in either Holland or the Netherlands”

“I’ve got a six-pack…I just keep it in a cooler”

“I keep my six-pack in a refrigerator”

“Curry, you still got that canned air? I need a blowjob…”

“Strangely enough, my plums are the perfect temperature”

“Why don’t you go outside and mount it?”

“I never had an experience like that before”

“Man I could go for a stiff one”

“Let it go while I’m pulling!”

“I look hot…is that what you’re trying to say?”

“1 AD, I think you’re hot…”

“Hey LTC Finley, Rik volunteered to do that S&M stuff with you…”

“And now we’re S&M masters…”

“I got my ass jumped by a Marine First Sergeant”

“It always scares me when I get that stuff in my mouth”

“So a tornado hit Alabama and did what…twelve dollars worth of damage?”

“It used to be the red screen of death but now it’s just the red screen of mild discomfort”

“Can I get a little squirt, man?”

The X Man wets his bed.

Any advice or suggestions are welcome.

The X Man ponders Goethe

I love this picture

Update on the Italy move

Things are progressing...not real smooth, but at least they're progressing. Here's where we are right now;

Our household goods are scheduled to be picked up starting Monday, November 17th. They say the pickup could take up to 3 days. My housing inspection is scheduled for Thursday the 20th and hopefully it will go well because my start date in Italy is Monday, November 24th. That means we'll be leaving Germany on Saturday, November 22nd, stay overnight in the Alps, and arrive in Vicenza on Sunday the 23rd where we'll check into a hotel until we find a place to live.

We've still got a ton of stuff to do before we leave and it's getting stressful but it will all be worth it in the end. My last day at work here will be Friday, November 14th as the next week will be spent doing household goods pickup and clearing.

Updates as they occur...

The wife and I tripping the light fantastic...

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Italian work visa: Day Two.

I was a bit frustrated on the way home for a couple reasons. First, I was going to have to buy another ticket to come back up the next day. Second, I had already taken Tuesday off and was also taking Friday off as well; now I would have to use another half day of comp time during a week at work that was pretty busy. I called work and let them know the situation and told them that I was planning on taking the early train the next morning so that I would be at the consulate as soon as they opened, pick up the visas, then be back at work by lunchtime.

Once again, it was not to be.

I took an early train and got to the Italian consulate about 5 minutes before they opened at 0830. The old bald guy remembered me of course and buzzed me right in. I took a seat in the waiting area and waited. Sometime around quarter past nine, Sr. Morganti arrived to work, saw me, gave me a slight nod and disappeared. About 5 minutes later he came back into the waiting area and said "Did you not receive my email yesterday afternoon?" I replied no, that I had taken the previous day off so I wasn't at work to be able to check my work email account. He then said "Oh no, I emailed you to tell you that I was not able to get to your visas and asked you to come in this afternoon..." (Wednesday is the one day of the week that the consulate is open in the afternoon). Things were clearly not going well for me. I got a look of disdain on my face and considered my options. Obviously going back home and coming back was not among them. Sr. Morganti must have been starting to feel bad by this point because he told me he had appointments all morning but would do everything he could to try and get them processed that morning since I was there. I told him I would go get some coffee and come back later as I was starving and he said fine, just come back by about 11:45 since they close for lunch at noon. I went down and found a newsstand that had international papers and bought my Italian sports paper, then went and got a caffe and panini at a bistro next to the consulate while I read it. I managed to kill almost an hour and a half by then so I figured I'd go back and hope for the best although I expected the worst...and of course, the worst is what I got. It was only about quarter to 11 as I took my seat in the waiting area. For some reason I cannot fathom, the consulate has nothing to read in their waiting area. Fortunately for me, my phone has a couple games on it - a golf game and a car racing game - so I played those while I waited to pass the time. Sr. Morganti came through a few times and assured me that he was working on our visas, giving me (false) hope. I can't explain how incredibly bored I was getting as noon approached and the employees started shuffling out the door while I continued to sit there and wait, my chin in my hands. At one point I asked the old bald guy if I should just go to lunch and come back when they reopened at 1430. He told me I should wait and assured me that the visas would be ready soon. Eventually even he must have felt bad for me as he came out and started showing me newspaper clipping of his friend back in Italy who had won a bunch of sailing competitions about 40 years ago. I was now at the pinnacle of boredom. It was past 1300 now, the consulate was closed as everyone was at lunch but I continued to sit in the waiting room as, supposedly, Sr. Morganti was still downstairs working on our visas. Somewhere around 1330 the old bald guy put his jacket on and was about to go to lunch but stopped, looked at me, and said "Follow me, I take you downstairs to check". We went down to Sr. Morganti's office and he told us that the visas would be ready in about 5 minutes. So I took a seat in the downstairs waiting area and waited. 5 minutes later he came out and spent about 10 minutes making photocopies of God knows what. Finally he walked over and handed the finished visas to me with the requisite apologies for the delays and such. I was in no mood to listen so I shook his hand, thanked him and made a beeline for the train station where I jumped the first train to Heidelberg.

So the nightmare is over and now things will be moving fast as we prepare to leave. I have a transportation brief this morning as our household goods are scheduled to be picked up November 17th. The plan right now is to depart for Italy on Saturday morning, November 22nd, stay overnight in the Alps, arrive to Vicenza on Sunday and start my new (old) job on Monday the 24th. I'll update things on here as they come more into focus...

The Italian Work Visa: Not for the faint of heart...

When I first came to Europe back in 1998 I came to Germany. While here, I kept hearing people referring to something called "German efficiency". For the life of me I just could not understand where the term came from because this country was far from efficient. Two years later I moved to Italy and immediately realized that, in comparison, Germany must seem to Europeans to be the most efficient place in the world.

During my 6 years in Italy I was constantly amazed at how disorganized and inefficient the country is. Most Americans that I worked with down there just could not get used to it and couldn't wait to leave. A select few of us learned to live with it and were the lucky ones. The past couple days however, my love of - and patience with - Italy was severely tested. Come with me now as I relive the tempestuous journey to receiving my Italian work visas...

It started several weeks ago when I was notified that I had been selected for my old job. I was given a litany of documents I had to acquire before I even applied for the work visa. I finally had everything I needed and emailed the Italian consulate in Frankfurt to set up my appointment. The gentleman I corresponded with was Signor Morganti who seemed very pleasant and helpful. My appointment was for Tuesday, October 28th at 1000. All of us had to apply in person so we got up early and jumped on the train. The visa applications that I carried had the address as 17 Beethovenstrasse so I had google-mapped it the day before and was happy to see that it was a walkable distance from the train station. Of course it rained so we got a bit wet. I was adamant that we be early to avert any last minute crises that might come up. We arrived on Beethovenstrasse at 0930 and all seemed well. Since we had a half hour til out appointment, we popped into a little cafe and got something to drink and a sandwich. As I'm paying for the sandwich I said to the girl "The Italian consulate is on this street, yeah?" She replied "Oh no, they moved a long time ago!".

Panic set in immediately as I tried to size up the situation. It was now 0940 and I only had 20 minutes to figure out where the consulate had moved to and then get all of us - including Luca, who was in a baby stroller - there. The girl says that she has been working there 4 years and the consulate had moved THREE YEARS AGO. I showed her the visa application that they had sent me which said Beethovenstrasse and she made a few comments about "Typical Italians...". Apparently we were not the first ones to make this mistake. Fortunately she knew where it had moved to and asked if she should call me a cab and assured me that the two kids would be able to ride in the cab so I agreed. The cab arrived and we rushed to get everyone in but we were blocking traffic and the cabbie was in such a hurry that we ended up riding all the way with both the X Man and Luca (in his car seat) unsecured in the backseat which made me very nervous. But we arrived at the consulate without incident.

We checked in and waited. Finally the old bald guy at the desk said "if you or the children need to go to the bathroom, please go now because in 5 minutes we will go downstairs and there is no bathroom there". 5 minutes later he took us downstairs where we joined a group of about 6 or 7 other people waiting. 10 minutes later Sr. Morganti came out and called my name and took us into his office. He spoke really good English but I still used my Italian as much as I could because that usually gets you better treatment. As he did the applications we bantered about his hometown of Bologna, soccer, Italy in general and things seemed to be going well. He finished up and said he was going to try and get them finished quickly but he had to take care of everyone else as well. I asked if we were going to get them back same day and he said probably. I was pleasantly surprised. It would be short lived. It was about 1045 by that time and all the other people that were in the waiting room with us were gone so I figured we wouldn't have to wait that long. So we waited. And waited. The X Man was getting bored so I started playing cars with him on the floor. We waited some more. I had to pee but there was no bathroom. We waited some more. Finally, sometime after noon, Sr. Morganti came out and asked me to follow him upstairs to the cashier to pay for the visas. I was elated as I thought sure I was going to have to make a return trip to Frankfurt a few days later when the visas were ready so the fact that we got them same day was great. But it was not to be. I paid the 300 euros (about $400) - visas cost 75 euro each - and then Sr. Morganti informed me that we could wait for the visas if we wanted to or come back. I said we'd come back after lunch and he said "No, sorry, the consulate is now closed so you must either wait now or come back tomorrow". I asked how long the wait would be and he got that classic Italian look and said he had a staff meeting and it would probably be at least 2 hours. The thought of waiting down in that room with two kids, nothing to eat, nothing to read, for another 2 hours...well, it just wasn't happening. I told him I would come back first thing in the morning and we left.

Thus ended day one of my Italian visa saga. Coming tomorrow: "Day Two"...

Anniversary pics

Celebrated year number six with dinner at Il Bianco Cavallino, then drinks at the Dubliner. Loaded a bunch of pics on my Facebook page:

Anniversary Photos

Celebrating 6 years of wedded bliss today!

Seems like only yesterday we were tying the knot. Six years on, it's been quite an adventure that I wouldn't trade for the world...

Conversations with the X Man

X Man: Daddy...ask me how my burger is.

Me: How's your burger buddy?

X Man: It's BURGER-TASTIC!

How do you say "racial profiling" in German?

This is Monty:

Monty is the NCOIC in the office where I work (NCOIC = top enlisted soldier). He's been here a while now and we've become really good friends in that time. Both he and his Dutch wife Marlene are super people, easy going and fun to hang out with.

About a week ago, Monty was running in the morning before work on the Bismarckplatz near our house. It was early in the morning and there usually aren't a lot of people out around that time. At one point there was a lone German woman walking a bit ahead of him and as he was getting closer he let out a little cough. She heard the cough and turned around and as soon as she saw Monty, she immediately clutched her purse, shifted it to her other arm and adopted a terrified look. Fortunately, Monty is not one to be offended by such things. In fact he usually has a sense of humor about them, so as he passed by the woman, he got sort of close to her and let out a huge "AAAAHHHHHH!" with his arms spread out to his sides. Scared the hell out of her. Then he turned and laughed and said "I'm not going to steal your purse, don't worry!". She obviously recognized how silly she must have looked because she started laughing as he continued to run on, suddenly aware of her faux pas.

But we all got a pretty good laugh out of it in the office...