Tuesday, November 11, 2008

The MOC Quote Board, Part I

I have but 3 working days left at my current job. In honor of this occasion I have decided to share the MOC Quote Board with the rest of the world. The MQB started back in May of 2006 during my first week in the MOC (Movement Ops Center); I noticed that a lot of funny things were being said around me so I decided to capture them for posterity. What makes the MQB so funny is that these are actual quotes that have been uttered in my office and they are recorded sans context. It's pretty extensive so I'll have to break it up over a couple parts and I'll leave off the names to protect the (not-so) innocent. Without further ado, I present...The MOC Quote Board:

“It only comes when I hold it”

“I had Mandy’s for dinner last night”

“Every time they take them to the hole they’re naked”

“He needs a little more meat”

“Is Jack off today?”

“I’m gonna need Josh’s stick”

“Don’t let ‘em fool you with that ‘it’s the motion of the ocean’ crap…”

“It felt like you poked me”

“You put pork in your mouth!”

“Damn, I wish you were my mother…”

“Can I get a happy ending?”

“Follow me and I’ll give it to you now.”

“Size does matter”

“It’ll take a lot of rubbing and a long time”

“I can do it good if I can do it loud”

“Maybe we can do some pottery shopping, that’ll be nice!”

“What a gay conversation between two men”

“Here, take this, it’s still hard”

“Definitely goggles and socks if I walk out with nothing else”

“Don’t you EVER touch my balls again!”

“He coulda been light-bright, damn-near-white”

“You can either get the long one or the fat one”

“Send me the Dick in the box!”

“I had to stop cause he was going down on me”

“I need one with small holes, I don’t like the big holes”

“It’s in either Holland or the Netherlands”

“I’ve got a six-pack…I just keep it in a cooler”

“I keep my six-pack in a refrigerator”

“Curry, you still got that canned air? I need a blowjob…”

“Strangely enough, my plums are the perfect temperature”

“Why don’t you go outside and mount it?”

“I never had an experience like that before”

“Man I could go for a stiff one”

“Let it go while I’m pulling!”

“I look hot…is that what you’re trying to say?”

“1 AD, I think you’re hot…”

“Hey LTC Finley, Rik volunteered to do that S&M stuff with you…”

“And now we’re S&M masters…”

“I got my ass jumped by a Marine First Sergeant”

“It always scares me when I get that stuff in my mouth”

“So a tornado hit Alabama and did what…twelve dollars worth of damage?”

“It used to be the red screen of death but now it’s just the red screen of mild discomfort”

“Can I get a little squirt, man?”

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