Tuesday, March 04, 2008

God rubs it in.

There's one part of my aneurysm episode that I hadn't mentioned to anyone yet because it still freaks me out a little bit. In fact, I just told the wife this morning. As I was laying in the ER waiting for my CAT scan, I had plenty of time to sit on the table with nothing to do except think about things as they had a backlog and I ended up waiting for almost a full hour. The first thing I thought about was my wife and what would happen to her if...well...if. Then my thoughts turned to my two boys - the X Man and my unborn son due in May. What would it be like for them growing up without me, who would take care of them? Who would teach them the life's lessons that I haven't had time to impart to them yet? You can't help thinking about these things when you're in a situation like that. You think about not having a chance to watch the X Man grow and see what kind of a man he will become. You think about never getting to see your unborn son and that you'll never get to see what he looks like and what he'll be like.

I realized that I wasn't doing myself any good with this kind of thinking so I tried to relax and clear my mind. And just as a I did that, I suddenly heard the song that was playing on the ER radio. The song was called "The Living Years" by Mike and the Mechanics. But what was so freaky was that, just as I tried to clear my head and think about happier things, this is the verse that just happened to be playing:

I wasn't there that morning
When my father passed away
I didn't get to tell him
All the things I had to say

I think I caught his spirit
Later that same year
I'm sure I heard his echo
In my baby's new born tears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Needless to say, I almost lost it right on the spot. I managed to hold it in until I was released and got to my car by some miracle. I still get choked up thinking about it. Either it was proof that God has a sense of humor or he was just rubbing it in. Whatever it was, he certainly got his point across. And I don't ever want to hear that freaking song again.

1 comment:

kitty said...

Wow, Rik, I've been catching up on your health woes and -- WOW!

In many ways, you are very lucky you had that wake-up call. One of those blessings in disguise. God wants you to live.