I am the World's biggest dumbass. Bar none.

I got to Germany last Sunday, got off the plane, got down to the rental car counter and promptly realized that I forget my drivers license in Italy. So no rental car. I had to take the train to Heidleberg, then take a cab to the base that I was staying at. Then, because I had no car, I was forced to beg rides each day from one of my colleagues. And perhaps the worst part, I was forced to spend all my time in my hotel room and wasn't able to go downtown and eat at my favorite Thai and Indian restaurants.

Things were looking up towards the end of the week when one of my colleagues, Frank, informed me that he would take me to the airport on Saturday. I've known Frank for years and he and his wife are planning a trip to Italy next week and so they wanted to pick my brain to get as much Italy info as they could. He picked me up at the hotel and we had brunch at their house before leaving for the airport around 2 to catch my 4:30 flight. We pull up to the terminal and to my absolute horror it dawned on me that I had forgotten my jacket at Frank's house. In my jacket were my credit cards, military ID, airport parking ticket, car key, and worst of all, my breath mints.

I went into the terminal to see about changing to a later flight which I was able to do - for an additional two-hundred-FREAKING-euros.

So it is official. I am the biggest dumbass in the world. I'm starting to worry about myself.

What the hell is wrong with me?!