Nessun...Pesto?

So out of the blue, I started cooking about a year and a half ago. I can't explain why, it just happened. As part of my culinary journey, I have endeavored to make several dishes that I became addicted to in my 15 years in Bella Italia. Chief among them is pesto. I cannot describe my love of pesto in words, it is just indescribable. Virginia has an amazing garden and one of the things that is growing in abundance is fresh basil. Fresh basil is actually my absolute favorite smell in the world so it's no surprise that I have decided to try my hand at making fresh pesto. I'd planned on trying it ever since we lived in Italy but I just was never adventurous enough to try it since I've never cooked anything that I couldn't microwave before. However, once I started cooking, something awoke in me and I just enjoyed it so much that when I had all these beautiful, fresh ingredients from Virginia's garden, I just felt inspired...So I learned how to make fresh pesto and it was surprisingly easy. I've made it a few times with mixed results but each time has generally been good.

But today...Today I made a huge batch and it was just so unbelievably good that it reminded me of a symphony as all the note were struck perfectly and in such complete harmony that it left me speechless. Well, almost speechless; I wrote a Facebook post about it that I thought would have made a great blog post and since I'm trying to revive the blog and start getting away from Facebook, I thought I'd repost it here for posterity because, quite honestly, I think it's one of the cooler things I've written. And so here it is, in its entirety:

I mentioned Pavarotti's "Nessun Dorma" in my post about my perfect pesto and as I revisited the video and the song, it occurred to me that my entire pesto making process today is perfectly represented in Pavarotti's performance, almost as if by fate. It started out slowly, just some simple kosher salt and garlic. Next, the real meat of the aria begins, the fresh basil...it just starts to hit the high note but then comes back down before you get too excited when you add in the pine nuts...they provide a measure of softness to the madness and bring you back down to Earth but it becomes obvious that this is building towards something really special. Next comes the Parmeggiano Reggiano which softens it even further and almost lulls you into sleep but then suddenly you finish it off with the extra virgin olive oil and then you stir and stir and stir and finally....if you did everything right, your pesto reaches a crescendo of epic proportions, just as Pavarotti hits the perfect high note in the third "Vincero"...you close your eyes and you can feel yourself on the Ligurian coast enjoying all the best things Italy has to offer. And then, just like that, it's over...finished too soon. But the sensation will stay with you the rest of your life. Bravo, maestro...

Reliving a Decision The Changed My Life, Part 3

(To go to Part 1, CLICK HERE)

"The Air Force is accepting prior service for OTS now..."

Wait. Run that by me again? We were in the middle of a huge joint exercise with people from all four services and there was a Captain from the Air Force that I was working with. After a few days she told me "You know, you should really go officer". I gave her my usual answer, that if the Army guaranteed me a slot in signal or transportation, I'd do it in a heartbeat. She asked if I'd considered applying for OTS (Officer Training School, the Air Force version) with the Air Force, I laughed and said that would be a dream but they don't take prior service. It was at that moment she uttered those fateful words; The Air Force is accepting prior service for OTS now...

Well this changes everything. Not only could my dream of joining the Air Force from years ago become a reality, but I could do it as an officer?! This just seemed to good to be true so I managed to run down the number for the recruiter's office at nearby Aviano Air Base, gave them a call and confirmed that, yes, as an Army NCO, I was eligible to apply for Air Force OTS. With this new information, I started working out a plan for my future. I had a little less than 2 years left on my current enlistment. The cutoff date to submit my application packet for OTS was the following January, roughly 8-9 months away. I figured that'd be plenty of time. I was wrong. So, so wrong...

Was this my destiny?

According to the recruiter (an Air Force Master Sergeant), in order to submit an OTS packet, I would first have to pass the "AFOQT" - Air Force Officer Qualifications Test (the military does love their acronyms...). It turns out that the requirements for the Air Force's officer school were a bit more stringent than the Army's. No shocker there. As it happened, they were scheduled to hold the next testing date that very week so I signed up for it and then notified my boss, 1LT Kuss the next day that I was planning on applying to OTS and that I would need a day off to take the test. Kuss said no problem, he's all for it but that he'd need to clear it with MAJ Ostlund first and then he disappeared to go talk to him. What happened next still gives me goosebumps whenever I think about it. MAJ Ostlund came charging into the office with Kuss in tow, just like the time he came to verbally undress me for the incident with USAREUR months earlier and I quickly jumped up to attention. Except this time, he didn't come in to yell at me, he came to congratulate me. He was effusive in his praise and told me "SGT Thibodeau, I am so goddamned happy right now, I think it's fantastic that you have decided to become an officer, I cannot tell you how proud I am of you right now..." I had never seen him so happy. He told me that he had worked in the past with people submitting packets for various scholarships and such and offered his help with anything that I needed. Truthfully, I was worried how all of these hard-charging infantry officers I worked with would react to me switching to the Air Force but I needn't have worried. MAJ Ostlund's reaction solidified in me once and for all that I was making the right decision. Col Carpenter had a similar reaction when he found out. His exact words were "Dammit Thibodeau, I hate to see the Army lose you but at least you're finally going to be an officer."

Not everyone took the news so well. The NCOIC of my division at the time did not like me...at all. He was an old school Airborne Infantry Master Sergeant and for reasons I understood all too well but will keep to myself, he just had it out for me. He constantly singled me out for criticism or just to screw with me and on several occasions made things personal, well beyond the typical NCOIC-soldier dynamic. So bad was his treatment of me that it had convinced me that I would never stay in the Army as an enlisted person because there was no way someone like that was going to have that much control over my life. As the NCOIC, I had no choice but to inform him that I was taking a day off in order to go to Aviano to take the AFOQT and if I passed, that I would be submitting an OTS packet with the Air Force. He reacted pretty much as I suspected he would and gave me a hard time. He had me locked up at parade rest at his desk and proceeded to scold me for "not giving me any advance notice" of my plan (whatever that meant) and just as his voice started getting raised, MAJ Ostlund suddenly appeared. He did not say a word, he just looked at the NCOIC and that, apparently, was enough. After looking at Ostlund, he looked back at me and said "Fine, take the day off. But next time you make these little life decisions of yours, make sure to let me know ahead of time so we're not scrambling at the last minute trying to cover for you. Now get out of here." Phew. 

I remembering taking the AFOQT in a room with about 20 Air Force people, all of whom looked like they were about 21 years old. The recruiter told me the test was no joke and he recommended holding off until the next test so I had time to study since only a handful who take it even score high enough to submit packets. I probably should have listened but I was too anxious, it was now or never. He wasn't kidding about it being difficult; I remember it being sort of a cross between the SATs that you take in high school and the ASVAB test that you take when you join the military. The difference here was that I had zero time to actually study for it whereas most people spend weeks, even months preparing and studying for it. I did as best as I could and then I waited. And waited. And waited. A few weeks later I received the call from the recruiter: "Well, you scored high enough to make the cut, congratulations. I'll be assisting you with putting your packet together."

The Air Force Officer Qualification Test is no joke but I'm proud to say that I passed it with zero time to study!

First there was relief. Then, elation. Then the realization that I'd only gotten past the first obstacle and that there was much more to do. Te recruiter sent me all the forms I'd need to complete and the list of documents I'd need to submit and quite honestly, it was a bit overwhelming but I dutifully got started. The first thing I would need were letters of recommendation. I could submit up to three of them and obviously, the higher ranks, the better. My plan was to gather as many letters of recommendation as I could, sort of covering all my bases, and then select the best three to submit with my packet. I was fortunate to have Col Carpenter as an ally in this endeavor; not only did he write me a strong letter of recommendation of his own but since he was the G3, he actually convinced the SETAF Commander - a Two-Star General - to write one for me as well. A letter of recommendation from a General Officer, as I found out later, was better than gold when you are submitting a packet for any military school, especially officer school. Satisfied that my letters of recommendation were good enough, I set about to complete all the other requirements. Most of them were pretty easy but the last part of the AF56 (OTS application packet) seemed to be an insurmountable obstacle, one I wasn't sure how to tackle. It stated that I must have a sit down interview with a "Senior Air Force Officer" and have him or her complete the section with an official recommendation. It might not seem that difficult but I was an E5 (sergeant) working on an overseas Army base; the only Air Force officer we had was the head of the staff weather office down the hall from me and he was but a mere Captain so he wouldn't qualify as a "Senior Air Force Officer". I became discouraged. I racked my brain trying to remember if I knew anyone in the Air Force that I could ask to conduct the interview and fill out the form but I kept coming up with nothing. Things were looking bleak for me but, once again, it was Col Carpenter to the rescue.

We were about to begin another huge joint exercise that day and so I ventured over to the coffee bar on base that everyone - Americans and Italians alike - gathered at several times a day for their caffeine fix, affectionately called the Carb Bar. Col Carpenter happened to be there as usual and upon seeing me asked me how my OTS packet was coming along. I said "It's coming along pretty well sir, I've got most of it done but I'm stuck on the last part where it says I have to have a sit down interview with a senior Air Force officer. Problem is, I don't know any Air Force officers at all so I have no clue what to do..." Carpenter replied "Why didn't you ask me Thibodeau, Erv Lessel is here as the deputy commander for the exercise, I'll hook you up with him." It turns out that Erv Lessel was Brigadier General Erwin Lessel, the 86th Wing Commander at Ramstein Air Base in Germany - as Air Force officers go, it doesn't get much more senior than that! He and Carpenter were good friends and he just happened to be on base for the big exercise. Fortune had once again smiled down upon me.

BG Erwin "Erv" Lessel

Sure enough, one day later an Air Force captain came into our building, asked if there was a SGT Thibodeau in there and then said BG Lessel would like to see you. One does not converse with a General Officer very often (if ever) so you can imagine how nervous I was. I went into his office and sat down and BG Lessel turned out to be one of the nicest people ever. He dropped the formalities and talked to me on my level for a good 10-15 minutes, asked me questions about my background, what I'd hoped to achieve, stuff like that. Finally he said "Well listen SGT Thibodeau, Pat Carpenter absolutely speaks the world of you and as far as I'm concerned, that's good enough for me...Capt. Devoe will bring you the completed form later, good luck!". Later that day Capt Devoe did indeed bring the form and my jaw dropped as I read the recommendation that BG Lessel had personally handwritten which included phrases such as "Best candidate I have ever interviewed for OTS", "Must admit immediately" and "Air Force will lose an officer of the highest potential if SGT Thibodeau is not admitted to OTS!". I could not believe what I was reading. It was unfathomable. Only a day earlier it looked as if the senior AF officer interview thing would be my undoing and now it looked like it would be the one thing that would guarantee my acceptance to OTS!

Unfortunately, as it has so many times in my career, the incompetence of the US Army would completely screw me...


(To go to Part 4, CLICK HERE)

Reliving a Decision That Changed My Life, Part 2

(To read Part 1, Click Here)

Fast forward back to the spring of 2003. I had about a year and a half left on my enlistment and for the first time since I went active duty in 1998, I honestly had no idea what to do. I'd originally enlisted in the Army Reserves out of high school in 1989 to help pay for college. After graduating college in 1993, I bounced around from job to job not knowing what the hell I was doing until around 1995 when one of my best friends, Randy Pouliot came back to visit home. Randy and I were inseparable our senior year of high school. We spent our senior year touring various colleges around New England, some of which we had no interest in but college visits were an excused absence from school so we milked it for all it was worth and drove all over New Hampshire in his mom's blue Ford Escort. I ended up at Franklin Pierce College (since renamed Franklin Pierce University) and Randy settled on University of Massachusetts-Lowell. After one semester, he ran out of money so he went back home and got a shitty job at a local pizza joint. But Randy was smart and resourceful and there was no way he was going to let his circumstances keep him down so he did the best thing he could have done - he joined the Air Force and he got the hell out of Dodge, er, Nashua. He ended up being stationed at Nellis AFB in Las Vegas and in 1995, when I was between jobs, I had a chance to drive cross country with him from Boston to Las Vegas and then spend a couple weeks with him in Sin City and it was a life changing experience for me.

Randy and I at Binion's Horseshoe in Las Vegas, 1995

For the first time, I got to see other parts of the USA and realized that there was life outside New England that I'd never seen and then I got to experience life as an active duty Air Force person (I was still in the Army Reserves at the time so I had full base privileges where he was). I was so enamored with it all that when I got back home, I called an Air Force Recruiter to try and enlist in the Air Force. The Recruiter told me that I was THEE perfect candidate - young, single, no dependents, college degree - but unfortunately I was in the Army Reserves and they were not allowed to accept prior service (people from other services). I was crushed and gave up on that dream pretty quick because, well...I had no choice.

Things got pretty bad after that until, in early 1998, I'd had enough and ended up enlisting active duty in the Army, since the Air Force was not an option (although I did try one more time and was told, again, that the Air Force was not accepting prior service). It's funny for me to look back on it now but at the time, I was terrified. I'd gone to college and gotten a job with my own office, all the things I thought I was supposed to do as part of the 'American Dream'. I had all my friends that I'd grown up with, we spent our time watching Red Sox, Patriots, Bruins and Celtics games together and I could not fathom ever leaving my little bubble that I'd grown up in and that I just figured would be my future. But I was miserable and feeling like I was going nowhere - although I did not want to join the Army, they offered me a guaranteed tour in Europe and money for my Masters Degree, and so in spring of 1998, I went active duty Army and went to Germany to start my new life. At the time I figured I'd just do my three year commitment, see as much of Europe as I could, then go back to the US and use my GI Bill money to get my Masters Degree in something I was interested in doing for a career. However, as it so often does, fate had other plans for me...

I took to Europe right away. I did two years in Germany and then transferred to Italy where I felt like I wanted to stay forever. Life in Italy was like paradise. In Germany I had to live in the barracks with all the other enlisted soldiers and I hated it. But in Italy, I had been promoted to Sergeant and was able to live off base in a beautiful two bedroom apartment with marble floors and a balcony with a captivating view of the Dolomites (Italian Alps). I was happier than I've ever been, I just could not envision life getting any better.

Sitting on the balcony of my little apartment in Italy sipping vino and enjoying the view. It was truly La Dolce Vita...

During that time I expanded my traveling adventures, took a few trips to various places in Asia, met a girl in Hong Kong and got married. Not long after we got married, we were expecting our first child. Something was happening - I was becoming...domesticated. First the first time since I left for Europe in 1998, I suddenly had to think about the future and come up with a plan. The way I saw it, I had but two options: Either finish my current enlistment, get out and get a job or make the Army my career and stay in until retirement. If I was going to make the Army my career, it certainly was NOT going to be as an enlisted soldier. Nothing against enlisted soldiers, it's just that as a 30 year old buck sergeant, I was well behind the curve and probably wouldn't go much further. Nay, I would have to go to OCS and become an officer if the Army was to be a career for me. Believe it or not, I would have loved to do that and finish my career as an officer but the war in Afghanistan was a couple years old and the war in Iraq was just getting started and I foresaw many miserable deployments ahead of me if I went that route so it was a difficult decision. On the other hand, I had a job at the time working on a system called JOPES and I had made a lot of contacts in the JOPES world who kept telling me I should get out of the Army and get a Department of Defense civilian job because, with two wars going on, JOPES experts were in very high demand. I personally knew people who did the same job as me who were getting out of the military and walking into GS11 and 12 jobs. As a lowly buck sergeant, it was a very attractive option. I was leaning in that direction until one fateful day in the spring of 2003 that would change...well, pretty much everything.

(To go to Part 3, CLICK HERE)

Reliving a Decision That Changed My Life, Part I

It was the spring of 2003 and I was at a crossroad. I was a 31 year old buck sergeant in the US Army, assigned to the Southern European Task Force (aka SETAF) in Vicenza, Italy and my future was very much uncertain. I felt I was destined for something better but I couldn't figure out what. I worked in the G3 Operations section which meant I worked with a lot of officers and other high ranking people and because of the job I did, I sort of developed a reputation as a "smart guy" which, if you know me, is pretty far from the truth. Regardless, during my years as an enlisted soldier, it was a pretty common thing for officers I worked for or with to try and convince me to go to Officer Candidate School (OCS), saying I would make a good officer. For my part, I was unconvinced. I actually enjoyed military life and since I had a college degree, it often seemed as if I were pre-ordained to become an officer at some point but I could just never pull the trigger for various reasons. For one thing, going to OCS meant there was a very good chance that I would end up in a combat arms branch such as infantry and I had zero interest in that. Believe me when I tell you that I have the upmost respect and admiration for the infantry and the other combat arms branches...the 'ground pounders' are the backbone and very fabric of the US Military. It's just that I was getting older and I enjoyed working with systems more than I enjoyed being in the field doing 'grunt' stuff. I had been a signal (communications) guy my entire military career, I had no interest in learning how to be a combat arms officer at 30 years old. At SETAF, I worked with tons of infantry officers and I was in awe of some of them, I knew there was no way I could ever measure up to what they were. Indeed, many of the infantry officers I worked with in my SETAF days have gone on to become some of the greatest Army leaders of our generation, some even achieving the rank of one, two or three star generals. They were imposing men with larger-than-life personalities who worked late hours and seldom saw their families and that just was not me. I was the guy who liked to come in, do his job, then go home and enjoy life away from the Army.

The guy who was in charge of the G3 was an old school, crusty, barrel-chested Colonel named Carpenter. Carpenter was tough as nails, had a voice and manner that just commanded respect but had a personality that forced you to love the guy. His nickname was Mongo and he was fond of carrying a wooden mace around the building with him. My first day at SETAF he passed by me, looked at my uniform and said "Thibodeau...come see me in my office later". I was a bit unnerved, wondering what I could have done wrong but I needn't have worried. It turns out that Col Carpenter was from the great state of Vermont and instantly recognized me as a fellow northern New Englander by my French-Canadian last name. We compared stories of our New England backgrounds and then he dismissed me but it was obvious that he had taken an instant liking to me - as I learned later on, Carpenter had a tremendous fondness for his enlisted soldiers whom he always said were "his guys". I may not have been an infantry guy but Col Carpenter recognized the skills and talent that I did have and that what I offered to the command and its mission was as integral as anyone else on his staff. In the three years that I worked for him, he would often try to persuade me to submit an OCS packet but I always rebuffed him. I remember one conversation we had where he growled at me, "Goddamnit Thibodeau, when are you going to go to OCS? You're spinning your wheels down here as an enlisted guy...". I answered, "Sir, I've considered it but they can't guarantee me a slot in what I want to do, like signal or transportation, there's just too great of a chance that they'll stick me in combat arms and I just don't think I'd make a good combat arms officer..." to which he replied "I think you're selling yourself short Thibodeau, I think you'd make a great combat arms officer". We had similar interactions like this several times during my time there and while I wasn't budging, I honestly appreciated that a leader whom I respected so much believed in me as much as he did.

"SGT Thibodeau", SETAF, ca. 2002

Sometime in 2001, my division got a new CHOPs (Chief of Operations) named Major Ostlund. Ostlund was a great officer and tremendous leader and I liked him right away. He was completely no-nonsense and one of the hardest chargers I've ever worked for. I'll never forget his brief to all of us shortly after he arrived: "I don't like shitheads". That was it. Short, sweet and to the point, we all knew right away that the new boss didn't fool around. Ostlund was also a true warrior in every sense of the word. In the months that followed 9/11, we all were waiting to see if we would be getting deployed to Afghanistan and Ostlund would ask me "Sgt Thibodeau, if we got the call today, would you be able to have our [deployment plans] ready to get us out of here immediately? Cause my ass has splinters from riding the pine, I need to get in the fight!"

Colonel (R) William "Bill" Ostlund; as a Major, he was the greatest leader I ever worked for.

I remember one incident in particular that captured Maj Ostlund perfectly; in my job, I often had to deal directly with our higher headquarters, US Army Europe (USAREUR). One day there was a disagreement between Maj Ostlund and the LTC that I was dealing with at USAREUR (for those who don't know military ranks, a LTC is one rank higher than a Major). I was caught in the middle and was in a no-win situation and I made it worse by trying to pacify everybody by taking blame for whatever happened and I apologized to the LTC at USAREUR. This infuriated Ostlund who came barging into my office like a raging bull and he proceeded to go up one side of me and down the other. I of course apologized and explained that I had no idea how to handle that particular situation; he took a deep breath and told me to come to him directly from now on and let him deal with it, rather than trying to fix everything myself. I remember his exact words were "Sgt Thibodeau, there is not a Goddamned LTC in the Army that I am afraid of." And there wasn't. That was Maj Ostlund - extremely tough but also fair and someone who looked out for people who worked for him and wanted to help them succeed...unless you were a shithead. For my part, I was very good at my job (and I obviously wasn't a shithead) so Ostlund seemed to like me well enough. We would obviously never be friends on a personal level but as long as I stayed off his bad side, that was good enough for me. All these years later, I still count him as the greatest leader I've ever worked for and as it turned out, he had more appreciation for me and my potential than I realized but we'll get to that later...

(To go to Part II, Click Here)